


Miracles

by allgoodinthebluehood



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Fluff, Gen, I Don't Even Know, Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-01 12:37:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4020016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allgoodinthebluehood/pseuds/allgoodinthebluehood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Excuse me, my shower is broken and the goddamn matinance is not picking up. I need to go to school and is it OK if I use yours?" </p><p>You are JOHN EGBERT and your neighbor is asking if he can use your shower. Why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Excuse Me

"Excuse me, my shower is broken and the goddamn matinance is not picking up. I need to go to school and is it OK if I use yours?"

You are JOHN EGBERT and your neighbor is asking if he can use your shower. Why.

He looks at you for a while, floundering for an answer because it is currently 5:55 and you haven't answered in 5 MINUTES. You seriously cannot comprehend why the universe has graced you with your neighbor's presence, who is also your classmate at your highschool and is currently freaking the fuck out behind his shade. You'd know. The struggle is real. 

Of course, like the early bird you are, you already used the shower. "Sure, I guess? Just don't use any of my things.", you say as you watch the person's shoulders sag in relief. 

"Thanks, I promise I won't take long." As soon as that sentence is finished, he rushes upstairs and grabs his things. Clothes, towel, shampoo, etc. 

"By the way, what is your name?" It would be kind of rude if he went into your house and took a shower without at least knowing a name. Probably would be awkward just to address each other just in pronouns. 

"Dave Strider. You?", he says as Dave locks the bathroom. "My name is John Egbert." The water starts running and you know he couldn't have heard you so you just forget it and start to prepare breakfast. Now that that situation is under control, you can at least eat until Jade starts asking questions 

\--

You are DAVE STRIDER and thank god your adorable neighbor is letting you shower.

As you wrap up yourself with a towel, you open the door a tiny crack seeing John eat a stack of pancakes. "Hey, John. Can I borrow your telephone?" He stops eating for a second and swallows. "Sure, just don't have weird convos like phone sex or anything." You give him a look and he shrugs. "You gotta be careful. I only just met you so I don't know what you could be up to." You deem that a fair point and with that, you grab the landline and call the maintenance. John doesn't seem like the type to say that but hey, you only just met him, too.

After a few rings they pick up. "Hi, um, my shower is not working, when is the earliest time you can fix it?" A pause. "A week sir. We are trying to fix other apartments since their electricity short circuited because a power outage happened during a storm last night. 

A week. What you heard out of that man's mouth was a week. A full on 168 hours with no warm water running over your filthy body. Great. 

You think of asking John if you could stay a while to use his shower. You are pretty sure Bro wouldn't even notice you were gone. So you ask.

"John, hey is it OK if I stay here for a week?" He looks at you like you are crazy, which you are, and nods a few seconds after. "Just don't take any of my stuff or loom through it." Those two things you don't need to do. The first one is unnecessary because you've got shampoo and conditioner for days. The latter you doubt you'd do since John just seems like the regular suburban teenager.

"Thank you John, you are an angel." You blow a fake kiss at him and John pretends to swoon. "No problem Mr. Strider. Anytime." He winks at you and it is your turn to fake swoon making him chuckle as he washes his dishes. 

Well at least you get to make a friend during this whole fiasco. 

_Time skip: 6 hours._

You are JOHN EGBERT and your sister is questioning who is the person beside you and why is he coming home with you. You've explained the situation about what feels like a million times but has only been four and Jade still can't grasp the concept that he has not slept or dated you. No, Jade, we are not dating.

"Oh come on! You've got an apartment to yourself and teenage hormones. At least I can hope for you John!" You punch her playfully in the arm.  Jade says, all up in your face like she has nothing better to do and you are the only person in proximity. You roll your eyes. Rose is on the side chatting with Dave and some of Jade' friends are behind us.

And the last relationship you've had was a complete mistake that you wish you didn't take part of. Needless to say you dated a huge bitch. If not a huge pain in the ass. Of fence intended. "No, he is just coming to my apartment for the use of a shower cause his is broken." You sigh, now explaining it for the fifth time. 

Your sister pouts and you just wave it off. Thank the stars Dave is wearing headphones and he can't hear this weird conversation of your sister's suggestive comments and you trying to stop your sister's weird but endearing antics.

She walks over to Dave and takes off his headphones. "What the heck, Harley?" Jade looks at him for a while. "Not bad." She smirks and walks the opposite direction and goes to your other friend, Rose.  

"I am so sorry." You can't help but stiffle a laugh as you think about your current scenario. Him staying with you just cause his shower broke. Jade thinking we fucked or something like that. You chuckle. "Sorry about my sister, Dave. She gets a little touchy-feely with new people." You'd scratch your neck and he shrugs.

"It's fine. She seems nice enough. Not like a weird ninja nerd." You laugh at what he just said and go join the others, him trailing right behind you.

All of you guys go your separate ways as Jade goes to her dark green jeep to meet up with her brother and your cousin to go home. Or adventuring. You never know.

Rose waves goodbye to walks with Kanaya somewhere and that leaves you and Dave in the parking lot making your way to your car. 

You and Dave walk to your dad's old, white car and get inside. "Shotgun." You laugh. "There is no one else riding, dweeb." You start the engine and what feels like forever it finally starts up and you pull out of the school. And as you drive home, you have to listen to Dave rambling about the glory of apple juice and how it is the drink of gods. And you make him cringe with the idea that it is some guys piss. 

 


	2. Day 2 of No Shower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OK now Rose is curious of your new, temporary, room mate. Don't want your sister and your best friend getting the wrong ideas.
> 
> "So you are saying my cousin, David Strider, came into your house to take a shower?" She looks at you with disbelief and you shrug.
> 
> "People's showers tend to break. His happened to be next to me."

Ok now Rose is curious of your new, temporary, room mate. Don't want your cousin and your best friend getting the wrong ideas.

"So you are saying my half-brother, David Strider, came into your house to take a shower? And now he is doing that continuously for the next 6 days or otherwise?" She looks at you with disbelief which almost looks comical on Rose's features and make up. You just tell her what you told Jade. 

 "People's showers tend to break. His happened to be next to me so it would be convenient for him to just live with me for a few days." 

Rose opened her mouth slightly to say something but kept it shut and walked forward. It was the afternoon so you and Rose were gonna hang out, with Jade of course. Dave was just at your house laying down on the couch snoozing or what he calls "beauty sleep". You said you saw no beauty in your house. He then threw a couch cushion to your face and said he had a job that he had to go to later. Huh, wonder what his job is.

"John how is Dave acting in your house? I haven't talked to him in a while and last I did he was talking to crows." Now it is your turn to give her a look of disbelief cause although you just met Dave he doesn't seem to be a total lunatic. But hey, you don't judge. You stil have tons of posters of Nic Cage you almost always worshiped as a kid. Weird, you know, but it kept you occupied. 

"He is fine, just sings in the shower a lot and says it is his way of gracing the world with his voice." Rose just nods in understanding, since it is her cousin after all and it doesn't sound like new material. You'd do the same if Rose had your cousin over. 

As you both make it up to your house, Jade hugs both of you in a death grip and smiles brightly at both of you. "Gosh darn, Jade your pearly white teeth are going to kill me!", you giggle—no wait,  _deeply chuckle—_ and hug her back, Rose doing just the same. 

Jade jumps on the couch and turns on the TV as you make your way to the kitchen, grabbing an apple and biting into it. "So, what do you want to do?" A few chunks of apple come out of your mouth and Jade moves away to the other side of the couch. 

Jade has a semi disgusted look painted on her face and playfully swats your arm, causing you to release a small "ow" since that actually hurt. "Don't talk with your mouth full! That's so gross!" Rose laughs and raises her hand as in agreement. You swallow and sheepishly put the apple down on the kitchen counter.

"I was actually thinking of visiting this record store for my plants! Searching up the interwebs, I found out it is good to play music for plants.And there is this cool shop downtown." You nod in agreement. Jade has a huge farm of ridiculous plants that she shares with her cousin but she is the one mostly taking care of it. 

"Sounds good to me. Rose do you want to go?" She doesn't sound, heh, like the music type. Not that she doesn't listen or play music its just that record store, Skaia was it, doesn't really have what she likes. 

"Sure but if you don't mind I am going to wander in the arts and craft shop since I know the area." She waves her phone and needles, both striped purple and black. You nod and open the door, leaving a note for your dad that you guys went downtown incase he came home. 

Sliding into the driver's seat, you buckle up (safety first!) and you hear two other clicks, one behind you and one next to you. Of course Jade called shotgun and this is technically her car. You are just driving it.

You put on "Young Volcanoes" by Fall Out Boy and apparently Jade knows all the lyrics. Unforntunately, she knows _all_  the lyrics. Let's just say she isn't the greatest singer in the world but you join along anyway at the chorus and you hear Rose hum quietly too. You silently thank god when she stops singing. 

Finally, you arrive at the shop, thank maps for the great directions that were shitty at best, and make your way with Jade. Rose points to the arts and crafts shop and says she will call us later. 

As you open the shop door, sharp wind chimes welcome you along with people checking out and looking at record albums. You and Jade split, she claiming you might find something interesting. Heh, maybe.

Walking around the aisle, you look at an album with a title called "Showtime" and check out. What surprises you is not the price, although these records are not exactly cheap, but the cashier which is Dave Strider.

Guess you did find something interesting. And by interesting you mean surprising. But I guess you could consider it both one and the same.

 


	3. How Can I Help You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You at DAVE STRIDER and you are currently facing you neighbor, or friend you guess by now and his probably sister. John notices you and waves as he makes his way to the cashier, which is you.
> 
> Oh how Saturdays are spent.

You are DAVE STRIDER and you are currently facing your neighbor, or your friend you guess by now, and his probably sister. John notices you and waves as he makes his way to the cashier, which is you.

Oh how Saturdays are spent.

"Hey Dave! I didn't know you worked here!" He smiles at you and you can't help but melt into a puddle on this windy, spring day. Sadly the door is open so you suddenly go into a fit of sneezes right after your melting. Goddamn you pollen. "What do you think I am, Egbert? A freeloading teenager using my guardians moola? Hellllll no." You pout at him and he chuckles. You forgot his companions presence and look straight at her. "By the way, not to be rude, but who is she?"

Her head pops up at the mention of her there and introduces herself, putting her hand in front of John's mouth. "Hi, my name's Jade Harley and I am John's sister. Adopted since we look nothing alike." He slaps her arm and opens his mouth to say more. 

"Actually she is my genetic cousin. Her Poppop died so she got taken in by my Dad and is now my sister. She decided to keep her name though if you are wondering." Ah, the HarleBerts. Your bro, Dirk, is dating someone who looks almost exactly like Jade. You wonder if they are related. 

She puts her records on the counter and you ring them up on the register. "Let's see, Aggrieve, Showtime and Adagio Redshift. Nice." Although you are talking to Harley, your gaze goes directly to John. Good timing cause now your cousin just came into the store, holding two bags of yarn and sewing needles. 

"You have way better choices than you would suspect since John lets me use the worst shampoo." Jade's eyes gleam with suspicion and John just gives you a look of pure confusion with a hint of embarrassment. 

"No Dave stop feeding them lies!" Jade goes from mischievous to down right sulky. "John, Dave doesn't use your shampoo?" John nods and glares at you, only for you to put your hands up in mock defence. 

"Its OK Harley, we might go to that level later." John now starts to glare absolute daggers at you while Rose walks in with a bag full of yarn and needles. "May I ask what's going on here?", Rose asks. 

"Oh my gosh Dave no. I did not let you stay in my house for a week to make me embarrassed in front of my friends holy." John's face went from a tint of red to a fucking tomato in a minute. You almost feel bad for him. Almost because that was absolutely hilarious. 

"I think I am going to give you guys some alone time. Rose would you care to join me outside?" John lifts his head, pleading for her to stay but she ignores his signal and absconds with Jade, taking the receipt and change. 

"I did not want you to embarrass me, Dave. I meant it." His blush is still evident but is fading a way slightly. Cutie, you mentally note as you sigh. "Well, John admit it. You do have poor shampoo taste. I am surprised your hair isn't even crying for mercy." 

"Excuse you, but my hair and shampoo is perfectly fine, thank you very much." He puts his hand on his hair defensively, as if the hair is an actual person. You let out a low chuckle at his seriousness and tone. 

You turn off the lights, lock the register, and shut the blinds. "Hey, my shift is over so do you want to watch a movie at my house. Since I always use your house to shower, I mean." Hey, bros watch movies together right? This was a no-homo hang out, no matter how much you hated that term. 

"Sure, what time?" Locking m the door, you face John. "How about in an hour, so, like," you check the clock above the aisles of records. "3 o'clock? Sound good?""Yeah that is fine. Mind if I bring Con Air?" You've never heard of the movie but you nod. He fist bumps in the air and gives you a cute little bucktooth smile. Cue the freaking dokis.

"You ever heard of it?" You shake you head in response this time. Now his mouth is open like a fish out of water. "What." He deadpans and you have keep your mouth closed from laughing. "YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF CON AIR? IT IS LITERALLY THE BEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME." He grabs your shoulders this time and shakes you vigorously to the point of nausea. 

You take your separate ways as Jade and Rose watch him rant about his movies and how the heck you have never watched this movie. Jade smiles and Rose just turns to you to smirk. Jade whispers something in her ear and now they are both looking at you like you are crazy.

Boy, you can't wait for this movie night.


	4. It Isn't A Bad Movie...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are JOHN EGBERT and you are trying to find an excuse to get rid of your overbearing other roommate which you sort of forgot about for most of the week since she was out. Right now you are talking over the phone with her right now.
> 
> "Roxy? Yeah, there is this guy who is staying in my apartment-"
> 
> Cue suspicious laughter sounding like her almost polar opposite sister. 
> 
> You sigh, a slight blush forming at the suggestiveness of Roxy's cat-like cackle. "NOT LIKE THAT. His shower sucks so he is using mine. Is it ok if you could room with Rose for the rest of the week? I mean, just for the week."
> 
> She tells you it is ok and just like that you grab your Con Air DVD, heading out the door wondering what Dave's apartment looks like.

You are JOHN EGBERT and you are trying to find an excuse to get rid of your overbearing other roommate which you sort of forgot about for most of the week since she was out. Right now you are talking over the phone with her right now.

"Roxy? Yeah, there is this guy who is staying in my apartment-"

Cue suspicious laughter sounding like her almost polar opposite sister.

You sigh, a slight blush forming at the suggestiveness in Roxy's cat-like cackle. "NOT LIKE THAT. His shower sucks so he is using mine. Is it ok if you could room with Rose for the rest of the week? I mean, just for the week."

She tells you it is ok and just like that you grab your Con Air DVD, heading out the door wondering what Dave's apartment looks like. 

                                                                         

You are now DAVE STRIDER and you are currently regretting buying the jumbo bag of popcorn kernels.

Sure those things look like a small thing that couldn't possibly fill your microwave that is the size of an average inside of a drawer.

But NO.

They had to be ridiculously huge when heated and overflow your microwave which is the predicament that you are in right now. Great.

When you hear the sound of footsteps at your door, you instantly know it is John cause besides Rose and Bro no one goes to your door. Rose is currently hanging out with her weird girlfriend who is a fashion designer and pretty badass bitch from France. Good job, Lalonde. Nothing better than a person who can sew clothes while also being able to handle a chainsaw. 

To be honest when Rose mentioned the chainsaw part you were pretty scared. You made a mental note not to mess with her.

Bro on the other hand is out with his boyfriend, Jake. You've never met the guy but you sort of feel bad for him. Having a guy who makes robots in solitude and has a weird puppet fetish is not the kind of guy you would be comfortable with. But the guy has taken care of you since you were young. You've gotten used to it. Well, as used to it as a 17 year old can get.

Anyway, being the non-shitty host you are, you open the door revealing cutie-with-a-booty, John Egbert. You cleaned up most of the popcorn kernels and hoped that none of them were still on the floor. Hey, first apartment impressions are important when you are going to be invading a person's home for a week. Gotta make it all nice and cozy.

"Hey! I got the Con Air DVD we can watch! Nice apartment by the way." You watch his gaze move from your prized shitty swords to Bro's smuppet collection. His mouth opens to say something but he closes it and shakes his head a bit.

"Can I come inside?", he asks, eyeing the bowl of popcorn that is spilling a bit of its contents. Oops.

You step aside, placing the bowl of popcorn on a nearby table hoping it won't topple like the overweight bowl it is, and nod. 

John takes off his shoes and comes in. He hands you the DVD and you look at its skin and chuckle a bit seeing Nic Cage's long hair, putting the DVD near the popcorn.

"So this is the great movie you were talking about? What's the plot?" He starts going off about how Nic Cage goes off on an airplane going to his wife and kid while simultaneously trying to foil a guy named Grissom's plan. Doesn't sound like a bad movie, but if Mr. Cage is in it, the movie might be a bit cliche'.

"Earth to Dave? Hey!!!!" Your friend waves an evident hand in your face and you spring back into reality escaping from your ideas of John watching other dorky movies. His overall persona gives off the feel of dorky yet still very, _very_ hipster. That's one thing for sure.

"Yes, Jonathan? When you weren't interrupting me, I was thinking about the lovely anatomy of crows." His eyes turn annoyed to almost going into a fit of giggles.

"First of all, my full name is not Jonathan. Second, crows? Really?" John smiles at you followed by a chuckle and a heart warming eye smile so damn adorable it could probably beat a kitten in a landslide.

 You grab the Nic Cage flick and put it in the DVR. John sits on the couch, spreading his legs like a douche and not giving you space to sit. You foolishly try to take his legs off the couch, not moving a centimeter. Ok, John. Two can play at this game.

Although you can't  _push_ his legs off, you lift his legs up and put them on your lap. You sit down nonchalantly and John gives you a sort of surprised look as if he didn't think you would actually do something. Nonetheless, he looks at the movie and you offer him some popcorn. He refuses and tells you he is allergic. Now you feel like a douche. 

You get some chips that don't have any peanuts, cause Jake is also allergic and he has to eat something when they are done doing the frickle frackle. Thank gosh Dirk always replaces the sheets or else you could never sleep on the bed knowing that there would be dried semen. You shiver at the thought.

Offering John the chips, he takes them happily and opens the bag, eating the chips while watching the movie.

When the movie is down, Egbert is almost drowning in tears when Cage finally comes home to his daughter, whose name is Casey, and his wife. 

After he is down crying, he throws out the bag of chips sits beside you.

"So, what did you think of Con Air?", he asks. Honestly, the plot was terrible, editing was horrid and Nic Cage is an all around mediocre actor. But how do you word that nicely to a guy whose favorite movie is this?

Might as well be straight forward. "It sucked dude." He looks at you like you murdered Casey from the movie. 

His mouth gapes and he rants about how Nic Cage should be respected and you counter with the fact that the guy sucks at making jokes which makes John more angry trying to murder you with a nearby green smuppet. Oh no.

You let out a girlish scream and it turns into a true fight which ends up with you being tackled face to face with blue eyes and a smuppet in your face.

"Admit that Nic Cage is the best actor and take back what you said about the movie!" 

"There is nothing to admit if it wasn't an actual good movie!"

Now he is furious. John smashes the God-forbidden smuppet leaving you gasping for air after he pulls away. You mumble under your breathe that it really is a crappy movie and it earns you another round of smuppet ass. 

"Fine. It wasn't a bad movie...", you say quietly as John fist pumps the air in victory. 

 You throw the leftover burnt and small kernels of corn into the trash and leave the bowl near the counter. Grabbing your console, you point at the controllers when John looks at you. He nods in approval picking out Mario Kart 7. You smirk and give him a death stare saying 'Your on'. His hands make a cut throat sign at you meaning 'Bring it'. 

The rest of the night you and him go on and of with the wins. But in the end you win and watch him put at you saying it was luck. You stick your tongue out at him as a tease. It works since he is glaring at you with his blue eyes. 

"Hey can I sleep over?" 

Looking at him you nod, motioning to your bedroom. "I will just sleep in the other bed." You both go up and something hits you. "One problem though. You need pajamas."

"Can I just borrow yours? My legs hurt and I am way to beat up from Mario Kart to go upstairs to my apartment." 

You look at him with surprise and laugh a little. "Oh, Egderp, you want to sleep in my clothing? Isn't that a little too soon?" He punches your arm playfully in annoyance as he nods.

"Ok, suit yourself, bro. My pajamas are in the second drawer on the left in the bedroom. I am just going to change my clothes in the bathroom. Be right back"

After you are done changing, he finishes changing in the bedroom and the clothes are noticeably bigger on him since his frame is more of a 14 year olds than a regular high schooler. Gotta admit it looks adorable. 

* * *

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not upd8ing but school's a bitch.


	5. Can't even sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave POV  
> Johns PoV in the morning  
> He can't sleep  
> John is right beside him  
> You know the dealio  
> I ain't a cliche but  
> I just couldn't resist

He is right in front of you and it is a pain in the ass that you can't just cuddle him.Not that he isn't cuddling you.

Which is why you are internally screaming because your goddamn brain won't function because a certain blue-eyed, buck-toothed, raven-haired boy has his attention at the moment and also his waist. Your arms are so conflicted if they should go to his sides and hug him or be a total douche and tickle the ever loving shit out of him. 

You decide it was best that you do the latter when it is morning and the first option now when he is unconscious. Weren't you a smooth fucker. Attacking the prey while they are asleep. Nice. 

Now even though you've only known John for about a week you've started to grow feelings for him. A platonic feeling was always present but now it's a bit different. Those feelings became something of interest. But now isn't the time to evaluate that because he is in your vicinity, making you panic in your mind. 

You nudge his body and, you weren't planning on his reaction to be that you swear, he only snuggles closer into your chest, silent snores escaping from his mouth. Oh my fucking god he looks like a kitten. 

He seems to be clearly asleep since if he wasn't he would probably be apologizing profusely for the sleep cuddles. Not that if you were in that position you wouldn't too. Striders don't cuddle. Well, not really often. But you can't fight the urge to just cuddle the ever-loving shit out of him. 

So you do.

Well since he's asleep he probably won't mind. Besides when John realizes what happened last night, or you bet on this guess right now, he would be very flustered and hey, you gotta admit that'd be cute for anyone. 

Lifting your arms up, you maneuver them to position John's arms, keeping them around your waist, giving you space to put your arms around him. Nice. 

You know you shouldn't be doing this. Every cell in your body feels like you should wake John up and let him move away from you so it isn't awkward for the both of you in the morning. But you also know that if you do go with that option, the chances of this scenario happening again is very unlikely. So you'd do what any other person would do. 

Lay down, fall asleep and hope that you aren't the one who wakes up first cause that would be awkward if he knew what you were up to and you'd still be living in his apartment for a while. 

Finally the worries calm down and you're able to drift off to sleep, not really giving a fuck of the turn out of this faithful night. 

\--

Right when you wake up, a heavy but comfortable weight is on your side, feeling comfy and almost...cuddling you?

What you expect to see is a normal white pillow or a lump of sheets that should have formed during the night. The thing, or person, you didn't expect to be cuddling you is none other than Dave Strider.  _And you are cuddling him back._

Memories start coming back of what happened last night and now it makes sense. When you were younger, Jane had to share a bed with you and that was when you realized that you were a sleep cuddler. After you guys moved into a bigger house that stopped cause then you guys aquired seperate rooms. This whole thing was probably your fault cause Dave had to latch his arms around you or else it would be a really uncomfortable position. 

You move your arms away from him, slowly but surely, trying not to wake him up. Though you were a morning person most people normally weren't. Dave doesn't seem like one and you aren't taking any chances. With your grace and agility you probably were going to wake him up. 

And that plan goes down to hell when Dave suddenly moves, making you hiss in panic. 

The way he moves makes him turn away from you. A laugh. "Egbert what are you doing. Wanna get a load of Strider here?" A little flustered, you slap his arm in defence. Another laugh, this time its a bit louder. You'd expect he would wake up but laugh at you? That's a little harsh. But you get up yourself, untangling from the beast that is Dave. 

You huff. "Speak for yourself. You were basically getting your snuggle on with me Dave!" When you cuddled it was usually unintentional. And this time it was. 

He reaches for his shades, puts them on, and gives you a long, hard stare. " Excuse me, John. Did you see yourself? Can't be a hipocrite man." As if! It was a total accident, if not a reflex. Still you feel your cheeks turn a bit pink at the remark.

He smirks, you sigh. "If you are gonna be like that I am not gonna make you breakfast." His smirk fades into a mock look of anger.

"Ah, come on dude. Can't do that to a bro in need. I held you like a momma bear with its cub. You can't leave the momma bear. You just can't. I go all night to protect you and you leave me? Why, John. Why?" He looks absolutely crest fallen and you can't help but burst into giggles that he just rambled about that.

"Sorry but did you just compare us to bears?" He shrugs and opens his mouth to say more but you aren't having any of it.

"Fine, fine, no more bear references or else you are definitely not having any use of the shower." With a sigh, he puts his hands up as a sign of surrender and walks with you to the dining room. 

You take out eggs, milk, pancake mix, and cooking supplies. Although you weren't an avid baker your family is. When you still lived with your family, Dad would always bake cakes in his free time for you and Jane. You've never really been fond of pastries of any kind,  especially Betty Crocker. Every time you bring that up to Jane, she just laughs at your personal vendetta against our deceased grandmother. She's a batterwitch running a sweet empire and you know it. 

Too bad everyone has batter for blood and cake for brains in your house. Not that they aren't smart, cause they are but they bake more than the average human. And how many times have you told them that they should run a bakery they say nah. 

You wonder what they are doing now. Spacing out you don't really come back to reality until a wet substance has coated your bed head. 

When you turn around Dave is still in his seat but this time holding his laughs with a smirk and staring directly at you. You glare at him knowing he did something with the raw egg and shell currently coating your head, almost falling to the floor. 

"What?" He fakes innocence and you know. Your pranksters gambit is too strong to not know when someone is lying about something. Usually relating to pranks. 

"Dave what did you do?" 

"I didn't do anything, Egbert."

His voice seems like any other day where he is just talking to you. But you know it has to be him cause no one else is in your apartment. 

"So help me Dave..."

"Are you accusing me of cracking an egg on your head?" 

You nod, noticing the egg has finally fallen to the tile floor.

"You bet I am."

"Whatcha gonna do about it, Eggderp?" You almost cringe at what you think as an egg pun and you reach for the case if eggs. 

"This."

If you were to replay what was happening, the egg fell satisfyingly, landing straight in the middle of Dave's record shirt. He was lucky you didn't aim for his boxers. He lunges for you and you run, laughing with the eggs still in your hand. He manages to grab one turning it into a full out war of eggs between the two of you. 

On the end he landed an egg on your head, one on your shoulder and two on the side of your torso. On his end he got hit multiple times on the chest, possibly three, and one on his shin. Both of you chuckle at the carnage of shells and yolks, now taking it in that you can't make breakfast. 

But you both also find that you guys don't really care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fucking cliche  
> Sorry for the long wait but I had a lot going on and my bday and shit so be happy I upd8ed now or I would have never upd8ed again.


	6. What do you want to do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-egg fight where Dave says stuff and they spend the whole day together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating for a long time! I've been caught up in an emotional rollarcoaster so it's been hard to really look at this fic. Thank you for hanging on though!

You are JOHN EGBERT and you are covered head to toe in egg debris.

Not to mention your friend is too. 

When he ensued the egg fight, Dave wasn't thinking of the consequences. But in his defense you didn't either and you decided to retaliate to protect your honor cause goddammit if you're gonna go down you're gonna go down fighting. 

"We have no eggs left and I don't think we want to really buy eggs unless you want this happening to your precious tile floor again." Dave scrubs off the last of the eggshell bits and egg white from the floor. Fortunately, none of the disaster hit the carpet which is s relief. A vacuum hadn't made its way to your household.

"Do you want to just buy take out?" He nods, throwing the paper towels out and changing into something not covered in food. You decide that's the best idea for you too. 

He yells from the bathroom."How about I buy it this time, my treat."

"That'd be great considering you trashed my floor so I will gladly take that offer," you say, happy your wallet won't be emptied for a bit of breakfast, "Don't complain when I order a lot!" 

"God dammit, Egbert, don't become fat." You giggle.

"You never know, Dave. Maybe I will become fat and you will have to carry me all the way back to the apartment." 

As soon as he comes out of the bathroom, you zoom in, eager to get the grimy clothes off your back when you can. You put on a blue flannel, some cargo shorts and the same old yellow converse you never forget you have. 

Dave has on a red bandana around his neck, a siracha shirt, which you bet he's never tried before, and some white washed skinny jeans paired with plain black converse embedded with a red gear-like symbol. 

He finds you staring and looks down at his shoes. "Oh these? I got them from a friend who had a sister that was the same size as I was but didn't want to wear it." 

"That's actually pretty cool. Do you know who the person was?"

Silence. A cough. "She actually died in a car crash with her boyfriend. Her name was Aradia Megido."  

Oh. Wow, ok. Guess who feels like a total prick! This guy. 

You've never gotten yourself into this type of situation and it's starting to get a little awkward. You feel so sorry for bringing it up but at least you can apologize. 

"I'm so sorry." You scratch the back of your head. "Never knew." 

A hollow laugh. "Haha, yeah, she wasn't that popular. Met her at an out of town archeology club where we both found each other on our love of dead things. She'd always laugh when we found dick bones or ram skeletons. They were her favorite animal."

He doesn't stop and you let him go on.

"She was dating this guy named Sollux. They went to this house party and went home at a late hour. Turns out another guy from the party had a little too much fun and decided to go out for a drunk drive." 

"Aradia died that night. Sollux was critically injured too but he only lost part of his vision. He always apologizes about it but we've gone over it. It's fine." 

That's not the definition of fine. You hate yourself for asking a stupid question on his shoes. They weren't even that interesting anyway. But you can't say that. Not after you caused him pain just by a simple question bringing up Aradia. 

As an apology, you hug him, and you hug him tight. 

Now when you first touch him, he's stiff, not expecting this from you. A few moments later, he hugs you back, thanking you with his arms around your torso, which is fine by your standards.

You look up at him. His face remains stoic but you could just see his eyes you'd bet they were filled with sorrow just now.

"You ok?" Oh yeah John, the guy who just talked about his late best friend is totally OK! Not a problem. God, you're an idiot. 

You'll try to salvage this moment by trying to make it up to him."How about instead of you treating me, how about I treat you?" Yeah, John, that's a good start! 

He looks at you, thankful for offering. To that, you smile. That was the least you could do for Dave. Well, besides letting him use your shower. 

Both of you head out, wallet in hand and stomach just waiting for some pancakes and bacon. And, of course, for Dave, some high quality apple juice. The man can't resist the nectar and it's sure to bring him out of his damp mood. The dude is moist as hell. 

You guys finally stop at the diner, getting your waiter, which is Vriska, yapping your ear off about Dave in hushed whispers ("Is he your boyfrieeeeeeeend?" "For the last time Vriska, he is NOT my boyfriend!".

Dave orders strawberry pancakes, bacon and apple juice while you get blueberry pancakes, eggs, and coffee. In about 30 minutes, Vriska returns to your table, making zero progress of leaving just to talk to Dave. 

"So, Dave, do you ever feel like John is so slow at making a move?" You almost choke on your pancakes. 

He finishes a piece of bacon before responding to her question. "Yeah, I mean, you can't keep a southern lady waiting, John." Another pancake goes down the right chute which surprises you. 

"I know right? You should probably make a move or else he won't." Vriska pouts at you, and you gift her with one of your rare death glares.

"You know maybe I should." You look at him for moment and Dave shrugs. "I have to agree with the lady, John. You always keep me waiting so now I'm gonna do something about it." Wait, what. 

He stands up, going down on one knee (you are frozen), and says in the most serious voice, "John will you do me the honor and go on a date with me?"

You nod slowly, Vriska pays for your check, and Dave just stands there speechless at your reply.

"Well the southern gentlemen just earned himself a date."

A low chuckle from Dave's side. "Indeed he has."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooo finally Dave scores himself a date!  
> Achievement get: Stop Being Single You Gay Douche


	7. Im back woah

Hey guys I'm back!

Just want to inform yall since this has been my number one work, I WILL be finishing this off. I am gonna write a lengthy conclusion in honor for the 2 year anniversary (woah!!!) 

Love  
AGITBH (allgoodinthebluehood)

**Author's Note:**

> Whale I got this prompt from tumble so I thought why not go with it.


End file.
